So the best part of my weekend was when I was forcibly removed from the Long Island Railroad by two Nassau County policemen. Now, I just want to point out that nowhere on the rules and regulations posted on the LIRR Web site does it say anything about surfboards not being allowed or having to stand and hold one in the the vestibule for the duration of a nearly hour-long ride to appease the self-proclaimed "conductor." Particularly when the car you are in is completely empty and will virtually stay that way for this ride. Nor do the rules say that because he can't seem to get the "ass" out of his rank in life which is clearly marked on his cap ("ass't conductor") and which you point out in not so many words, that said ass't conductor will feebly reach out to whatever power he wishes he had (i.e. martial law) and kick a girl off a train because she won't, in so many words, suck his you-know-what. Maybe he was intimidated by the length of my 6'7" shortboard? Or maybe it was because I wasn't a 6'7" dude? Is this a small reflection of all that is wrong with America? Misguided power trips followed by unnecessary (law) enforcement that leaves people totally f'd over?

If anyone else in this world has ever had a problem with such matters on the LIRR, please file your concerns by calling their public affairs at 718-558-8228. The people I've spoken with in that office actually seem nice and logical.